Friday, December 28, 2007



“I know I owe pics of the house but my (annoying) boyfriend wants me to wait for him to paint with me so we can bond over the fumes.”

“What are you doing over there? Am I gonna have to come over there and rape you?”

“Don't you know? A red folder is code for 2 GIRLS 1 CUP action. Google it if you don't know.”

“Yay! it's like we're Patti Duke or something! but I don't think they were conjoined... oh whatever.”

“I swear a shooting range is a straight man’s gay bath house.”

“Yeah I had a nice Christmass. Stubby’s anal gland exploded.”

Exchanges:

A: “Red and green make a kind of violet color.”
B: “What color does ‘shut the fuck up I’m playing Scrabble’ make?”

A: “Let's say you see a big ship sink...only 3 people have a chance to survive. The 3 people are:”
B: “That is the stupidest fucking question I have ever read. how the fuck do I know whos on the boat?”

A [via Facebook]: “Hello doll! Thanks for the post card from South Africa….”
B [via email]: “Hello darling, did you get the post card I sent?”
A [via email]: “Ha! I just wrote you a message on Facebook.”
B [via Facebook]: “Funny, I just sent you an email! Glad you liked the post card.”
A [via Facebook]: “Ha! Just wrote you an email saying ‘Ha! Just sent you a message on Facebook.’…..thank god for the Internet, or we’d never communicate.”

Friday, December 21, 2007


"Despite the risk of being arrested, diseases, social stigma, or meeting up with the wrong guy, prostitution suited her and she liked it just fine. "

"In other news, my cousin is going to get a cat for the house to kill mice. She ask me if I had allergies to them. I said not to my knowledge. I wonder could I get away with saying 'I had some pussy in my bedroom last night.' MMmmm Just a thought."

"I am already looking forward to the next storm. By then, I am certain to be finished with season 3 of LOST but I am sure we will be low on toilet paper or something."

"Happy Holidays! Yeah, Jesus was born!"

"I happened upon a lovely lady surely to join forces w/ Edgar, should he ever recruit in the Northwest. She was bald but beautiful. I saw something fierce in her eyes."

"Yes, there were some Jew jokes made. But, also midgets were included in the mix."

"My brother likens me to 'a retard wtih no thumbs.'"

"I think we would all like to say something brilliant or at least memorable right before we die---but we prolly just pass gas and smell. :( "

Exchanges:

A: "Ooooh! Look at your stripey socks!"
B: "Do I look like a witch?
A: No! [Playfully] You're going to put smiles on people's faces with those things, and not just me!"

A: "I saw your 'sittin' in a tree' message. This is no doubt none of my business, but I have to ask anyway - Are you expecting?"
B: "Oh my, NO!! No, no, no, no, no. And thank goodness. Could you imagine more of me running around? The world couldn't handle it."

Friday, December 13, 2007


"I wonder if Jesus ever tripped. I bet he did. He looked like a hippie (at least in that 'I'm white with blue eyes' phase he went through). At the very least he was a tree hugger. Or a FREE hugger!"

“Some people jerk off to porn or have fantasies or whatever. All I need is a mirror or a picture of myself.”

"POTLUCK DONTATIONS NEEDED!"

"As to the veal analogy, one could say you are freeing the embryo from your uterine crate!"

"You're never going to make it in a gay band with strength like that--at least not as a man."

"She was a pregnant teen when we took her in."

"Honestly the most interesting thing about this movie was the couple in the row behind us who were lying across several seats (armrests were in the upright position) making out in earnest."

Exchanges:

A: "Well, don't expect a Christmas card, as I don't believe in the dear baby Jesus."
B: "Well shouldn't be sendin me xmas cards anyway cuz I'm a Jew!"
A: "Oh Jesus."

A:“Wow, she’s just like you!”
B: “I know, it’s like me with boobs.”

A:"I'm actually pretty run down, but trying to find funny things to laugh at (along with antivirals, antibiotics and Aleve). Have you known anyone who had Shingles?"
B: "YOU HAVE SHINGLES??? I thought that was an old wives tale! WTF is it? I could look it up, but it'll give you something to do besides whine."

Friday, December 7, 2007


"You can't be too busy to start a real blog because you have time to take pics all the time and dress up your cats."

"BTW - I hope there's a library in heaven. Not that I'm going there! I read everywhere. On the toilet! I'm glad you had a nice birthday."

"Unfortunately there was, indeed, a tangle with security. After about a half hour, Officer Travis came out and said they'd gotten a complaint from employees that we were forcing hugs upon people!"

"Weekend birthdays are the best! I hope all kind of random spontaneous entertainment happens so I may read about it. (But not like when you meet random tweeked out people in Walgreens who tell you you could save money by making your own chocolate and won't stop describing the process in painful detail no matter what weird looks you give them. That sucks. I hope that doesn't happen.) I had a terribly entertaining time at your 18th birthday. Hope its that entertaining, but in a new way."

"California politics are fun. Like a circus is fun. To an elephant."

"Why are Gobol's clothes on?"

"You are too lucky! A Toyota 'ghost town', the Governator and Mayor Bubba. All you need now is side show monkey."

"WELL THAT ONE THERE, DOES THAT LAMB CHOP HAVE A NAME...?"

Exchanges:

A: "Why do you shit on everything I do?"
B: "Oh, gosh! That's not what I'm doing. I'm glad you came and took over this job. I hated it."

A: "We need to cancel your appointment because the doctor won't be in that day."
B: "That's the second time! I've never even been there and this'll be the third appointment I've had."
A: "Could you come Friday?"
B: "Only if you promise not to cancel."
A: "I can't do that."
B: "Promise me."
A: "--"
B: "Oh all right. I'll be there Friday and if I have to clean my own damn teeth, I will."
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Quotes of the Week Recording Your Words since 2007 @dollgina