Friday, January 25, 2008


"Whenever I hung out with Q, bums would go up to him! I was like, 'That's cool, you're a bum filter.'"

"I'm not even part of that conversation and I'm sick of it."

"P.S. I have no idea which brand molds first. We only had Wonder."

"Why is it that when I get lovey-dovey your thoughts turn to scat porn?"

"I will say something about the black youth of Fresno...they scare me."

"I like your taste - even if you singing reminds people of a Vietnamese restaurant slaughtering small animals - but at least the soup is good!"

Exchange:

Survey question: “What improvements do you believe would lead to the largest overall increase in organ/tissue donation?”

Head ICU Nurse's Answer: “Increased knowledge of the public which dispell miths and ledgends. Knowledge is power and if dispel supersticians and ignorance especially of the media if we increase the number of people wishing to donate.”

Friday, January 11, 2008


"P.S. I had to add glasses after one of your eyes looked too much like Amy Winehouse. At least you do have glasses."

"Hey you. I'm kinda stressed at work, and you texted me about hitting people in crotches, so maybe we should talk. Call me when you get a chance."

"Wait--wipe your eyelash......but don't fold your eyelid over, that's weird."

"Well, there’s something to be said for growing up dirt poor as there’s no documented evidence of questionable personal style. Hooray for me!"

"It's so cute when couples have matching hairdos."

"Those glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne."

Friday, January 11, 2008


"And I guaran-damn-tee you that Morrissey can't pinstripe."

"P.S. Did you see Edgar by the White House?"

"P.S. Are you friends with any of the other Gina [insert last name here]s on Facebook? They're all so cute. I want to collect them all."

"If your kids have a history of being wild, and sneaking out or sneaking guys in, why is your ass in bed? Perhaps you should put off a few hours of your beauty sleep (as much as its needed) and wait up to make sure you don't become a grandmother at the age of 29."

"The other day I found out that my dad went on a lesbian photo shoot with my ex-husband. This strikes even ME as weird."

"We don't want to belong to any club that would have us as a member."

"The kid I babysat for yesterday had me make playdough skirts for all her dolls and put them in line to get into the swimming pool where they would be ruined. They were barbies though or I would have taken a picture for you:) "

"Parading your 300 pound toddler around the stage in a tube top and hot pants doesn't make you look like a concerned parent."

Exchanges:

A: "Please send this on after a short prayer. When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world."
B: "If we care about them so much and want them to be safe, let's bring them home! That seems more effective to me than praying. Christians sure do like war, but praise Jesus for being peaceful and turning the other cheek. It doesn't make sense!"

A: "Is it okay if I sign up for that program? I'm turning eleven next week, even though I wish I wasn't."
B: "Why?!"
A: "I'm gettin' old! My back's starting to cramp up and everything. My mom'll drop something and ask me to pick it up-I can't do that stuff anymore. Fallin' apart."
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