“Omigod, you got a pitcher?? We’re gonna need a frat boy to help us.”
“I hate that puffy little bald hair. Like a dandelion gone wrong. Shave that shit.”
“It’s 9 o’clock in the morning and we’re already acting like retards.”
“I received a robo-call message from the yes on 8 group last night...I showered this morning but I STILL feel dirty...”
“Reason #248 not to believe in god: he never heals amputees.”
“Farre is just so hateful! She hates iPhones and dead babies too!”
“Oh for the love of plurk just find me. I can't find your proud ass.”
“You read my mind and my heart.”
“Trying to pull together twelve for bunco has been quite the Charlie Fox Trot. I'm telling you it feels like a clusterfuck at times!”
“When will your wife not look plastic? She's scary. Like a rash.”
“Better write down Jonathan's quote. He'll whine like a bitch with his tit in clamps if you forget!”
“My friend sent me an email telling me to 'Check out the title of this position' and it wasn't porn related. How odd.”
“First you’re confused, then you’re sore…wrong hole?”
Exchanges:
A's Status: “Slept much better last night, like a baby...with narcolepsy.”
B: “Omg, you made quotes.”
A's Status: “Dear Carl's Jr. I love your new breakfast burrito, it has gravy, how cool is that. I kno its unhealthy but it’s a tasty unhealthy.”
B: “The gravy one didn't make quotes, p.s.”
A's Status: “I kno the gravy one didn't make the cut, I just like the new burrito.”
Status: “Dear McCain, When will you spit out the tobacco in your mouth? And when will your arms grow longer? Thx, Gina”
Response from stranger: “Funny; just about as funny as McCain's broken arms & shoulders never healing properly while he was in the Viet Nam prison camp. Ass.”
New Status: “Dear McCain, If your arms still hurt, you shouldn't wave them around like that. :( Thx, Gina”
A: “Achooooooooo!”
B [from other room]: “Bless you, slut!”
A [cackling]: “Fuck you!”
A [pointing at Sister #1 sucking on a lollypop]: “I guess I can say I met up with two sisters and gave them something to suck on.”
Sister #1: “—”
A [to Sister #2 sucking on a lollypop]: “I guess I can say I met up with two sisters and gave them something to suck on.”
Sister #2: “Um, you could’ve if you’d paid for them, but you didn’t.”
A: “—”
A: “Disclaimer: I freely acknowledge that forwarding articles falls far short of the ‘smarts’ required to cut and paste bumper sticker jpegs. Onward. In 1973 the Supreme Court decided the infamous Roe v. Wade based on a nonexistent Constitutional ‘right to privacy’. If, as the Democrat parts insists, this right to privacy is sacrosanct, what do you make of its hypocricy in violating Mr. Wurzelbacher's privacy in Ohio? Less-than-smart, un-American minds want to know.”
B:
A: “Is this your response to my question?”
B: “I'll send you stuff on par with your scaredy cat dogma. Maybe I'll start to look as crazy as you and we can be friends again!”
Haiku of the week:
Applesauce is fruit
that was bitch slapped so one can
eat it with chopsticks.
by Faythe A.
“I hate that puffy little bald hair. Like a dandelion gone wrong. Shave that shit.”
“It’s 9 o’clock in the morning and we’re already acting like retards.”
“I received a robo-call message from the yes on 8 group last night...I showered this morning but I STILL feel dirty...”
“Reason #248 not to believe in god: he never heals amputees.”
“Farre is just so hateful! She hates iPhones and dead babies too!”
“Oh for the love of plurk just find me. I can't find your proud ass.”
“You read my mind and my heart.”
“Trying to pull together twelve for bunco has been quite the Charlie Fox Trot. I'm telling you it feels like a clusterfuck at times!”
“When will your wife not look plastic? She's scary. Like a rash.”
“Better write down Jonathan's quote. He'll whine like a bitch with his tit in clamps if you forget!”
“My friend sent me an email telling me to 'Check out the title of this position' and it wasn't porn related. How odd.”
“First you’re confused, then you’re sore…wrong hole?”
Exchanges:
A's Status: “Slept much better last night, like a baby...with narcolepsy.”
B: “Omg, you made quotes.”
A's Status: “Dear Carl's Jr. I love your new breakfast burrito, it has gravy, how cool is that. I kno its unhealthy but it’s a tasty unhealthy.”
B: “The gravy one didn't make quotes, p.s.”
A's Status: “I kno the gravy one didn't make the cut, I just like the new burrito.”
Status: “Dear McCain, When will you spit out the tobacco in your mouth? And when will your arms grow longer? Thx, Gina”
Response from stranger: “Funny; just about as funny as McCain's broken arms & shoulders never healing properly while he was in the Viet Nam prison camp. Ass.”
New Status: “Dear McCain, If your arms still hurt, you shouldn't wave them around like that. :( Thx, Gina”
A: “Achooooooooo!”
B [from other room]: “Bless you, slut!”
A [cackling]: “Fuck you!”
A [pointing at Sister #1 sucking on a lollypop]: “I guess I can say I met up with two sisters and gave them something to suck on.”
Sister #1: “—”
A [to Sister #2 sucking on a lollypop]: “I guess I can say I met up with two sisters and gave them something to suck on.”
Sister #2: “Um, you could’ve if you’d paid for them, but you didn’t.”
A: “—”
A: “Disclaimer: I freely acknowledge that forwarding articles falls far short of the ‘smarts’ required to cut and paste bumper sticker jpegs. Onward. In 1973 the Supreme Court decided the infamous Roe v. Wade based on a nonexistent Constitutional ‘right to privacy’. If, as the Democrat parts insists, this right to privacy is sacrosanct, what do you make of its hypocricy in violating Mr. Wurzelbacher's privacy in Ohio? Less-than-smart, un-American minds want to know.”
B:
A: “Is this your response to my question?”
B: “I'll send you stuff on par with your scaredy cat dogma. Maybe I'll start to look as crazy as you and we can be friends again!”
Haiku of the week:
Applesauce is fruit
that was bitch slapped so one can
eat it with chopsticks.
by Faythe A.