“I’m sure a synaptic connection occurred there somewhere in your thought process, but, while your instinct may have developed into homophobia, your ignorance has remained an unnatural constant.”
“I'm watching the Denvers versus the San Diegos. I like the little stripey socks the Denvers wear and that's about it.”
“I'm pretty sure my car is suffering from a form of endometriosis. Coolant keeps emptying, but not on ground. Hmph.”
“Another reason being a meat eater sucks... Fancy Feast commercial just made me hungry.”
“You know what you have here? You have a teddy bear! who wanders around! your house! It's wonderful!”
“J might be a good cook but he is so tardy right now I might eat my lip gloss.”
Exchanges:
A: “Hey! What the HELL are you doing?!”
B: “Minding my own business, what are you doing?”
A: “Finally got called out on the 'I'm new in town, you drive' scam I've been pulling for 2 years.”
B: “I use my bad back as my 'I can't drive' scam. Termie is blind--that's hers. You just need a chronic disorder.”
A: “I watched another movie with that chick from Twilight.”
B: “Oh no! Was she constantly running her hands through her hair, as usual?”
A: “No, I was very surprised! Granted she had some musculoskeletal thing going on.”
A: “Your description of football sounds like gay porn I saw once, what with the tight pants and the slapping and tackling.”
B: “It *was* gay porn! Slap slap tackle tackle. Monday Night Gay Porn. I never miss it.”
Halloweenie Costume of the Week:
