This week's Quotes are brought to you by the lovely Judith: librarianette, garden mama, and doggy doter. Show her some love!
"The poop chute is closing up. For jojo and the other sloth babies a bit of privacy on the poo pole is just a dream."
"They were close enough to exchange sloth moths."
"Move Starling! I have no qualms about putting you in my grill."
"My favorite stories are always about ME."
"You can't yell at me. I'm a guest here."
"You'll be the best barista ever. Or at least the cutest one--work that angle."
"Did you just pull a puzzle piece out of your ass?"
"I need you to trust me...just two thousand dollars worth."
"We could move to New Zealand, but they've already cast The Hobbit."
"That's it, you can't ask anymore questions."
"What do I need to DO? Buy her a PONY?"
"I love when I get my hair cut with a new person and she's all, 'How do you style it?' And I'm all, 'Sometimes if I'm feeling fancy I might brush it.'"
"M_, seriously don't mess with my hand sanitizer. I've already caught poverty this year and I refuse to catch the flu."
"What? I got chased by a hobo for nothing?"
"You need to put the cuckoo back in the clock."
"I'm gonna put a smile on my face and eat a big pile of steaming shit, unsalted."
"She's a nun, Leroy. Could you go after anyone less available?"
"You can use my other phone: It's really old. Like six months."
"He's never seen the sun. He probably lives in a cupboard with like 600 dolls."
"You're asking me to find your get out of jail free card?"
"Why is the Mafia Princess screeching in the chapel?"
"These pins are made for the delicate, poetically macabre work of entomology, and for that reason they work perfectly for pinning down diaphanous, tightly-woven fabrics like silk and chiffon."
A [man to seeing eye dog]: "I'm allergic to dogs."
B [man with seeing eye dog]: "I'm allergic to JACKASSES!"
Woman: "You know this is sexual harassment right?"
Man: "I think of it as sexual encouragement. Take one for the team!"
A [putting up a tent]: "Are there pictures on there?"
B: "Yes, but they all look like math so I'm ignoring them."